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Re: Lost Storms

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:17 am
by Tom-sprite
hehehe ... this gets darker and darker ...
I can t wait to read more ...
but I honestly have to admit that I would love to see a little spark of hope in the story soon !
;)

Re: Lost Storms

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 1:34 am
by Chibi Rachy
Tom-sprite wrote:hehehe ... this gets darker and darker ...
I can t wait to read more ...
but I honestly have to admit that I would love to see a little spark of hope in the story soon !
;)
Oh it shall be darker before the bit of hope I have planned comes. I'm working on the next chapter during my lunch break, so it's coming slowly because I don't work as fast as I do when I'm typing. I think that's a good thing though. When I transfer it to the computer I'll probably make more changes.

Re: Lost Storms

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:20 am
by Tom-sprite
OK ...it s your story right ? ;-)

By the way I noticed a little mistake ... normally I do not look for mistakes but this one was
a little flashy !

Red Butler couldn’t stand it anymore. He wouldn’t allow Murky to get away with treating Rainbow as he just had. His hands balled into tight fists, and he was unable to calm his anger. He didn’t want to calm himself. Quickly, he put one foot forward and pushed off, leaping toward Murky. His feet pounded against the dirt, as he ran as fast as he could. His hands pushed Murky’s back, sending the villain off balance and flat onto his face. “Rainbow Land isn’t yours to take!” he stated. “The Color Belt doesn’t belong to Rainbow Brite, not you!” He reached to Murky’s waist, intent on removing the Color Belt. He smirked as his hands touched the back of the Color Belt.

Re: Lost Storms

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:04 am
by Chibi Rachy
Tom-sprite wrote:OK ...it s your story right ? ;-)

By the way I noticed a little mistake ... normally I do not look for mistakes but this one was
a little flashy !

Red Butler couldn’t stand it anymore. He wouldn’t allow Murky to get away with treating Rainbow as he just had. His hands balled into tight fists, and he was unable to calm his anger. He didn’t want to calm himself. Quickly, he put one foot forward and pushed off, leaping toward Murky. His feet pounded against the dirt, as he ran as fast as he could. His hands pushed Murky’s back, sending the villain off balance and flat onto his face. “Rainbow Land isn’t yours to take!” he stated. “The Color Belt doesn’t belong to Rainbow Brite, not you!” He reached to Murky’s waist, intent on removing the Color Belt. He smirked as his hands touched the back of the Color Belt.
XD I caught that later on, but I never corrected that here. Got caught up in other things. Thanks for catching it though.

Re: Lost Storms

Posted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 9:59 am
by Tom-sprite
no worries ... normally I do not notice any mistakes ! ;)

My improvised english is very bad compared to yours ! :-))))))))))))))))))))))

Re: Lost Storms

Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 3:51 pm
by Tom-sprite
I am really antsy ... can t wait to read more ! :lol:

Re: Lost Storms

Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 9:56 pm
by Chibi Rachy
Tom-sprite wrote:I am really antsy ... can t wait to read more ! :lol:
XD Sorry. I've not written up the entire chapter yet. It's only been started. I set it aside for a bit to work on the rpg I'm doing since I had enough of a backlog for ff.net.

Re: Lost Storms

Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 10:28 pm
by Tom-sprite
Ohh..that s fine ... take your time ... please don t feel rushed !
I try to be patient ! :lol: ;)

Re: Lost Storms

Posted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 11:22 pm
by Chibi Rachy
Tom-sprite wrote:Ohh..that s fine ... take your time ... please don t feel rushed !
I try to be patient ! :lol: ;)
Lol that's the problem with reading it here on the forums. If you had read it on ff.net, you wouldn't be all nice and caught up :P

Re: Lost Storms

Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 1:00 am
by Tom-sprite
Why ? :mellow: