Lost Storms: Stormy's Forgotten Past

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Tom-sprite
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Re: Lost Storms

Post by Tom-sprite »

1 Chapter is left ! :-D
I read it slow and enjoy it because I want to understand it all ! :-)
I like it a lot that you include little side-stories ... this makes it all very complex ! :-D

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Chibi Rachy
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Re: Lost Storms

Post by Chibi Rachy »

Glad you like my side stories...most of them tend to come as ideas at random moments and I really do like them. Let me know your overall opinion once you've finished the last chapter that's posted. :)
"If you're obsessed with your yesterday then you're destined to repeat it." - Ariel of Icon for Hire

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Chibi Rachy
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Re: Lost Storms/Chapter 20

Post by Chibi Rachy »

I don't know what it was, but tonight I was just in the zone and my fingers flew across the keys. I'd had 3 pages of this chapter finished a long time ago, but didn't have the will to finish it until now. So I did the other 2 pages and had fun with it. Enjoy though and let me know what you think!



Chapter 20 Sense of Loss

Rainbow walked through the open field. She had the strangest feeling that she’d been here before, but none of the surroundings looked familiar. Red and blue flowers fluttered in the breeze, and in the distance there was a clump of trees that looked like the beginning of a forest. The sky was bright blue and sunny, nary a cloud in the sky. She wasn’t sure why she had come here. Her feet carried her forward, and she kept walking, eyes darting back and forth on the scenery in front of her.

The wind began to pick up, bringing with it cooler air. Rainbow crossed her arms across her chest, trying to keep her body warm. The wind seemed to be blowing in every direction, and her legs became chilled. The field no longer seemed inviting, and Rainbow just wanted to be out of the wind and warm. She looked down at her shoes and then she noticed that her Color Belt was gone. Her hands immediately went to her waist, feeling only the fabric of her dress.

Panic now covered her face, and instantly she began to run. She ran quickly toward the trees, wondering if she would find her Color Belt within the forest. How could she have lost the one thing that made her protector of Rainbow Land? Without the Color Belt, she couldn’t keep Murky from doing what he wanted, especially if he were the one who had the Color Belt. Images of Rainbow Land plunged into darkness as it had been when she’d first arrived flooded her mind, and she ran faster. In her panic, she forgot how she had to fight and work together with Twink and the Color Kids to earn the Color Belt and defeat the darkness of the land.

Rainbow stopped suddenly when the sky darkened and thunder rumbled loudly. The sudden storm would not help speed things up. The next roll of thunder rolled, and Rainbow could have sworn that she heard a girl laughing. She shook her head, trying to clear her mind and focus. She had to get back her Color Belt. “Who’s there? I know you have my belt!” she shouted, in case someone was out there. There was no reply to her call and she started to think she was only imagining things.

Then, she saw it. Up in the distance, a shadowed figure, rested against a tree. Rainbow ran toward the figure, certain she would find her answers. She stopped sort of the tree in shock. She knew that figure. Around the girl’s waist was the Color Belt. “You!” was all Rainbow could say.

The figure stepped away from the tree and closer to Rainbow. She grinned from ear to ear. “Stormy, you mean.”

“I want my Color Belt back,” stated Rainbow calmly.

Stormy looked down at the belt around her waist. “You mean this Color Belt? This is my Color Belt.”

“That’s not yours. I need it to keep Rainbow Land safe.”

“You’re not doing so well if I have the Color Belt,” remarked Stormy.

“The Color Belt is for the protector of Rainbow Land,” explained Rainbow. “I need it to keep everyone safe.”

Stormy only smiled. “Who was the protector before you?”

Rainbow blinked. She had no reply for that. She’d never really thought about who had protected the Color Kids and sprites before the land had been plunged into darkness. They had never mentioned the protector before her. She had never asked. Rainbow looked down at her shoes.

“Maybe you should think about the ones who protected Rainbow Land before you,” called Stormy. “Now, I’m going to go take over Rainbow Land.”

Rainbow reached out, but she said nothing. Stormy’s words echoed over and over in her head. She fell to her knees, lost in thought.

~~~~

It was dark when Rainbow awoke. She raised her head and blinked, looking at her surroundings. She was safe in her room, tucked under her blankets in bed. The moonlight shone softly through her window. No one was around, save for Twink. He’d fallen asleep in a chair nearby. She rested her head on the pillow again, remembering bits and pieces of her dream. That girl was there and she had the Color Belt.

Instantly, Rainbow shot up in bed, hands going to her waist. All they felt was the fabric of her dress. That hadn’t been a dream. Then, the memories from earlier in the day rushed back to her. She’d lost the race. She’d lost her Color Belt, and her way of protecting Rainbow Land. She’d…failed.

“Rainbow?” called Twink sleepily.

“Twink?”

“What’re you doing up?” he asked as he rubbed his eyes. “Do you feel any better?” When he got no answer, he slipped off the chair and made his way to the bed. “Rainbow?”

Tears pooled in Rainbow’s eyes, and they began to spill over. “I lost the Color Belt, Twink. How can I protect Rainbow Land without my Color Belt?” She wiped at her eyes, but began to sob at the thought.

Twink patted her back, trying to think of what he could say to comfort his friend. As he thought, the day that Rainbow first came to Rainbow Land came to mind and he suddenly knew what he could say. “But Rainbow, when you first came here, you didn’t have a Color Belt. You didn’t have anything to help you, remember?”

“But it’s different this time.”

Twink shook his head. “No, it’s not. You got rid of the Evil One and freed all the Color Kids from their prisons. You found Starlite and you helped me too. You can do it again. You can go get your Color Belt back from Murky. He doesn’t stand a chance,” finished Twink with an excited flourish.

“He’s got that girl to help him now.”

“But she’s like the Evil One,” protested Twink. “She just uses storms instead of darkness to fight.”

Rainbow sniffled. “You think I can get the Color Belt back?” she asked as she wiped her eyes.

“Of course! You can do anything!” agreed Twink.

Laying her head back on her pillow, Rainbow tucked her hands behind her head, thinking about what Twink had said to her. She’d need to figure out a way to get the Color Belt back from Murky before he decided to act out one of his plans. It wasn’t just him anymore, but Stormy was on his side too. A yawn crossed her lips. She pulled the blankets up to her chin and rolled over. She decided it was something to think and plan in the morning. Rainbow drifted off to sleep; no more dreams came to her that night.

When Rainbow next awoke, the sun was shining brightly through her window. Eight pairs of eyes looked down at her, concern written on their faces.

“Morning, Rainbow,” called Red Butler softly.

“How are you feeling?” asked Canary Yellow.

Rainbow sat up in her bed. “I feel better than I did. I’m sorry for worrying everyone.”

“Rainbow, what’s going to happen to us?” asked Lala Orange, voicing the one concern that was on everyone’s mind. No one wanted to speak up. To do so would only be a stinging reminder of how Rainbow had indeed lost her Color Belt. Light and color had not beaten the darkness.

“Nothing’s going to happen to you,” answered Rainbow with confidence, more than she felt inside.

“But you don’t have your Color Belt anymore,” protested Patty O’Green.

“You have to admit, your chances of succeeding in an encounter with Murky have drastically been slimmed down, scientifically speaking,” added Shy Violet.

“It doesn’t matter. I didn’t have my Color Belt when I first came here and I still won over the darkness. I’ll do it again.”

Buddy Blue stepped forward. “I trust you, Rainbow. I’ll help.”

Slowly, each Color Kid stepped forth and pledged their trust and help to Rainbow.

Rainbow smiled, glad to see her friends trusted her no matter one. Suddenly, she felt exhausted and lay back on the pillows.

“Rainbow?!” cried Canary Yellow, concerned.

Shy Violet spoke up. “She needs to rest. We should leave her be. I’ll gather some victuals for when she wakes up. Everyone else should rest too. It’s going to be a hard fight against Murky.”

Shouts and cheers of celebration radiated from the Pits. Murky and Lurky were in the laboratory celebrating their victory. Murky had had Lurky prepare a large meal in celebration and now the two were relaxing. Murky laughed loudly from his spot at the table. “I can’t believe we finally have the Color Belt! After all this time, my plan worked! Rainbow Land is going to fall and bow before me!”

“And me too!” added Lurky.

Murky scowled half-heartedly. “Not quite, but close enough.” He sipped from a goblet he held in his hands. “I’ll finally see them all as my slaves. And oh the fun I can have with Rainbow Brite!”

“What are you gonna do with the belt, Murky?”

“Why, wear it of course!” He pointed to his left where large black tub ooze grey smoke. “I’m just fixing it a bit first.”

“Oooh are you making it pretty?”

“No you dolt. I’m matching it to my outfit. Shades of black and grey. I’ve infused the Color Belt with gloom… it’ll run on my own power now.”

“Whatcha mean?”

“I’ll mix gloom and star sprinkles and then I’ll destroy everything Rainbow has worked to protect!” He ended this statement with a cackle.

Elsewhere, Stormy sat cross legged on her bed. She was angered that she had to stay in her room while Murky was downstairs, celebrating his victory. He’d quickly locked her in her room and told her to stay there until further notice. She scowled at the memory and slid from her bed, moving to the table where a tray of food had been thrown. A random assortment of dark meat and limp vegetables stared up at her, along with a glass of juice. She took a few nibbles off the plate before anger overwhelmed her and she tossed the whole thing at the door, satisfied to here the sound of a glass plate shatter into tiny pieces. Some of the food stuck to the door and slid slowly downward, leaving a slimy trail behind. Only the juice was left on the table and she sipped it to wet her throat before tossing it as well. She didn’t care what the consequences would be for her actions.

She thought back to earlier that day and to the horse race. It had been exhilarating to lead Rainbow on, to let her think she actually had a chance. Then, to take action and bring Rainbow down to the ground. She’d meant for the lightning bolt to strike Rainbow, but Starlite had dodged at the very last moment. She supposed that throwing Rainbow from her horse and knocking her out instead worked just as well.

She recalled Rainbow laying on the ground, unmoving. Something inside her panged. Wondering what it meant, she quickly pushed it aside. She didn’t care. Rainbow needed brought down a peg. As she’d turned Skydancer around after finishing the race, she’d watched Murky take Rainbow’s Color Belt. Everything had gone according to plan in the end. So why didn’t she feel as triumphant, as Murky did? She should be downstairs celebrating and she wanted to be. She’d been the reason he’d finally bested Rainbow, and her reward was being locked away in her room.

Stormy threw herself back on her back, staring at the ceiling. In the distance, she knew Rainbow was either awake or still out. She would be surrounded by the Color Kids. They always seemed to be around. She wondered if Rainbow ever got annoyed by that. She knew she was tired of always watching Murky. Why didn’t Rainbow get rid of them? Did she ever lock them away for periods of time? Rolling onto her side, Stormy continued to wonder. She realized that all she knew about Rainbow and Rainbow Land came from what Murky had told her. She’d never had the chance to poke around herself.

Quickly, she sat up in bed as she realized where her thoughts were heading. It didn’t matter what she’d had time or not had time to do. Rainbow couldn’t fight back and Murky was making his next set of plans. She was to help him yet again, but he hadn’t told her how she was to specifically do that. She wondered if she’d finally be free to do her own thing, or if Murky would still keep her locked away.

A particularly loud moment of laughter trickled up to her ear and she sighed. She didn’t want to stay in her room any longer. She moved toward the door and cautiously tried the handle. It jiggled, but wouldn’t open. She had hoped Lurky wouldn’t have locked the door in his happiness to return downstairs. Stormy began pushing on the door with her shoulder, trying to get it to budge. She heaved and pushed, but it nothing happened. Returning to her bed, she sighed, suddenly very tired.

Her head hit the pillow and she faced the wall, trying to ignore the raucous she heard. She closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep, but all she could picture was Rainbow’s smiling face and the Color Kids around her. Irritated, she pushed the image from her mind, instead opting for one of her and Skydancer running freely throughout the land. Thunder and lightning followed in their wake and she smiled. As soon as she did, the image was pushed aside for the one of Rainbow. Again, Stormy banished the image and thought of something that made her happier. Rainbow’s smiling face wouldn’t leave her alone.

“Stop it!” she yelled angrily. Then she felt foolish. Who was she yelling at? She rolled over and grabbed her pillow, pulling it over her head. She’d fall asleep and then she wouldn’t have to see Rainbow’s face. She kept this thought in mind as she slowly drifted off.
"If you're obsessed with your yesterday then you're destined to repeat it." - Ariel of Icon for Hire

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Chibi Rachy
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Re: Lost Storms/Chapter 21

Post by Chibi Rachy »

This only got finished tonight because there's no school tomorrow. Otherwise, I wouldn't have finished it in time. That makes two chapters finished over break, which is great for me. I've got 4 chapters of buffer now for my posting on ff.net, but of course, everyone here gets the chapters as soon as I finish them. Enjoy :)



Chapter 21 Dreams and Plans

Stormy walked slowly down the main path. She saw the object at the end of the path, easily recognizable. The Color Castle was where the path into Rainbow Land ended, the main location for the operations of Rainbow Land. Stormy did not know why she was walking toward the Color Castle, nor could she stop herself. Her feet would not listen to her body’s demand to stop. Onward she went, unable to control her body. She marched past the sprite homes and the sprites who busily toiled outside.

The sprites themselves were busy with various tasks, though some looked Stormy’s way. However, they appeared to look right through her. No one acknowledged her, no one panicked, no one ran from her to raise the alarm.

“Hey!” yelled Stormy. No one even seemed to hear her. Confused, she looked forward, noting that she was right at the bridge to the Color Castle. Her feet did not stop, but crossed the bridge and entered the Color Castle, whose door had been left open. No one saw her enter, or tried to stop her. A glance behind her showed the sprites still busily working and nary a glance her way. The door shut loudly behind her, making her jump.

As she studied the downstairs, she noticed that no one was around. She didn’t see Rainbow or any of the Color Kids. No one tried to stop her. She wondered why. Shouldn’t the Color Kids be protecting the Color Castle? Didn’t they try to keep Murky from getting in?

Suddenly, it was dark inside, and Stormy glanced toward the nearest window, noting that it was suddenly nighttime as well. The quick time change was out of the ordinary, as if the sun decided it was done for the day and disappeared. Upstairs and down the hallway she went until she came to a room that had a light spilling from underneath the door. She walked toward the door, reaching out to push it open. Her hand went through the door and soon, her body followed. That was creepy she thought.

The scene before her soon distracted her from her body going through the door. Rainbow lay propped up in her bed, surrounded by the Color Kids. She was smiling and laughing, even though Stormy knew she no longer had the Color Belt. The spot at her waist where it usually rested glared out for all to see. That didn’t seem to bother Rainbow though. She smiled and chatted happily with the Color Kids.

As Stormy watched, she heard an almost incoherent statement tumble from Patty O’Green’s mouth and then heard everyone laugh in unison. The scene was sickeningly cheery. How could they be so happy? Shouldn’t they be sad or angry, especially at Rainbow? She’d failed to keep her Color Belt, the one thing that gave her powers. Without them, she was just like the other Color Kids. She had no way to protect Rainbow Land. She couldn’t stop Murky and his gloom. She couldn’t stop Stormy even. Stormy grinned as she realized that Rainbow couldn’t stop her even with the Color Belt.

Yet, Rainbow looked peaceful. She accepted a cookie that Lala Orange handed her and broke it in half, giving half back to Lala. Stormy watched the other Color Kids. Buddy Blue and Red Butler played checkers while Canary Yellow, Lala Orange, and Patty O’Green held a conversation with Rainbow. Indigo sat off to one side writing in a book, and Shy Violet made notes on a notepad. They were happy. They weren’t upset and they weren’t going after Murky right away. It had to be a trick.

Stormy’s feet took her closer to the scene, until she stood right next to Rainbow’s bed. She reached out and waved her hand near Rainbow’s face, but Rainbow did not notice her. She was completely invisible to everyone. She was surrounded by happiness and something that she had no word for. Even though she could not be seen or take part, she felt as though she were part of the group, like she belonged. She scowled. She wasn’t supposed to feel that way. She was supposed to help destroy Rainbow in the end.

Yet, a tiny part of her wanted to feel as though she belonged somewhere, and not out of place. That tiny part was lonely in the Pits, always stuck with Murky or Lurky for company. To be around Rainbow and the Color Kids was refreshing for that tiny part of her. However, Stormy squashed any thoughts and instead focused on her goal, the one Murky had created for her.

As she did so, everything became a blur. Stormy was aware that the scenery around her was changing and moving quickly, but it was as though she stood still. When things stopped and Stormy stopped clutching her stomach to keep from throwing up, she looked around her. She was in Murky’s laboratory and saw the cold remains of a fancy celebration feast. She slowly turned her head and found Murky standing on a chair, the black and grey Color Belt around his waist. Lurky stood nearby, clapping. Murky appeared to be giving one of his speeches, and Lurky, as always, was listening with rapt attention.

He pointed in the direction of Rainbow Land. “My new kingdom! My servants! Grey and black and white!” He used hand gestures to illustrate his comments, puffing out his chest.

“Will there be any color, Murky?” asked Lurky.

Murky scowled. “No, birdbrain, there won’t be any silly colors! Rainbow Brite cannot stop me from making Rainbow Land my own!”

“What’ll we do with Stormy?”

“Pfft! That brat will serve me. She’ll be my slave too, but in a different way. With her powers, no one can stop me!”

Anger crossed Stormy’s face and she put one foot forward, intent on speaking her mind, but before she could, her surroundings blurred in front of her and all she could do was hold still and close her eyes until it all went away, hoping that the queasy feeling didn’t return. When the movement stopped, she opened them, and found herself facing… herself. She saw herself curled up in her bed, sleeping. Her sleeping form did not hear any of the noise from downstairs, even though the sound wasn’t completely muted. She reached out tentatively with her right hand, moving closer. Stormy tripped over her own feet, and fell toward the bed. She quickly put both hands in front of her to keep her from falling onto herself, but instead her hands went through her body, the rest of her transparent body following.

She didn’t stop falling. She fell, down and down further, everything a blur. She screamed, unable to keep herself from falling. Her hands flew over her face, a futile way of protecting herself from whatever she would land on. Expecting pain and something hard, she braced herself for the landing that was sure to come.

However, the expected landing never came. She opened her eyes slowly, and found herself floating inches from the ground. She lifted her head up, and found her body tilting back until her feet rested on the soft ground. She looked ahead and again, saw herself. This time though she was different. Stormy noticed a difference in the age; the Stormy here looked younger. She immediately noticed the difference in the style of dress. Black boots, emerald green dress, and a pendant around her neck. Stormy’s hand moved to her neck, touching the spot that the very same pendant used to rest on her own body. Why does that pendant seem familiar? She had no memory to answer that thought, but still wondered.

Stormy watched the scene before her with interest. The other Stormy sat in the grass, looking up at the clouds. A frown crossed her face and she looked down at her own fingers. She held her palm outward. Stormy watched herself, knowing that she was trying to communicate with the clouds. Nothing happened, and after a few seconds the younger Stormy gave up. “Never works,” younger Stormy muttered.

Another girl came up behind the younger Stormy. Stormy did not remember this girl from her past, but her younger self seemed to. Then again, Stormy realized that she couldn’t remember much of her past.

“You came!” exclaimed young Stormy.

“Of course,” answered the blond girl in the blue dress. “I told you I would.”

Stormy recognized the girl. That was Rainbow, but this Rainbow did not have a Color Belt, and did not seem concerned about this fact.

“Let’s play, okay?”

Rainbow reached out a hand, which Stormy gladly took. She giggled. “Come on!” Rainbow tugged at Stormy’s hand, and both girls started to run off into the distance, Rainbow’s laughter trailing in the wind.

Stormy ran after them, wanting to see where they went to. No matter how fast she ran, they seemed to disappear in the distance. She continued to speed up, but after awhile, she realized that the two girls had disappeared. She would never be able to catch them. Stormy slowed to catch her breath, and her foot caught on a rock. She fell forward, expecting to smack her chin on the hard ground, but instead found herself tumbling into a hole. She squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to be part of yet another fall.

Stormy sat up quickly in her bed, clutching her chest. Images from her dream quickly disappeared and though she tried to recall them, she could not remember everything. She saw bits and pieces that didn’t make sense as a whole. “What was that all about?” she wondered. She laid back down, trying to pull back the fading pieces of dream.

Murky woke up, slowly opening his eyes. He tried to sit up, but found that the effort make him dizzy. He groaned and held his head, trying to recall the previous night, but couldn’t. Instead of trying to sit up again, he stayed laying in his spot, looking up at the stone ceiling of his laboratory. He felt the extra weight around his waist, and remembered why the weight was there. The thought made him grin. His finger touched the single star. All he needed to do to make it work was apply his own star sprinkles. They would give the Color Belt the additional power it required to run.

He tried sitting up again and found it easier this time. He held his head, letting the dizziness quickly pass. Glancing around the laboratory, he noticed Lurky was conked out, an open book covering his face. Rubbing his hands together, Murky slid from the table he had been sleeping on. He saw the remnants from the feast the previous night, but he knew he could get Lurky to clean it up later.

Humming, he moved through his laboratory, searching for the box he’d set aside for this very moment. He moved to one of his bookshelves and began digging behind large tomes. Finally, he found the box he’d searched for, a simple black box with a thick lock around it to keep unsuspecting snoopers from opening it. It was mostly unnecessary, but he wanted to keep Lurky away from it.

He pulled a key from inside of a book on a higher shelf and unlocked the box. The lid sprang open, and grey star sprinkles awaited his eager eyes. “Yes, perfect… now to test them out.” He pressed them to his Color Belt and watched them be absorbed inside. Then, he pressed his finger to the star and a ribbon of grey and black shot forth. Murky willed the rainbow to move according to his thoughts and it did so, wrapping itself around Lurky. The rainbow picked him up and then promptly dumped him face down on the stone floor.

Lurky was instantly awake and held his nose in his hand. “Ouch! What happened, Murky?”

“The Color Belt works! Lurky, do you know what this means?”

“Uhhh…” He scrunched up his face. “No.”

“It means that we can test it out! It’s time to see if Rainbow and her friends can really fight back without the belt to help them.”

“But Murky, they only use Rainbow Brite’s belt,” protested Lurky.

“We’re going to test it out,” stated Murky firmly. In his mind, he knew that the Color Kids only relied on Rainbow’s Color Belt, but he wanted to see her face and their faces when they realized how much they truly relied on her. It would be the final test before his major plan went into action. “Lurky, fetch me the brat!”

“Okay, Murky!”

Lurky skipped happily up the stairs, humming to himself. He took the key off the hook outside of Stormy’s door and unlocked it, flinging the door open. “Stormy! Wake up Stormy!” He moved closer, uncertain if Stormy had heard him or not.

Stormy was laying on her bed, spread eagle. She lazily rolled her head to look at Lurky. “I’m awake,” she commented. She hadn’t been able to fall asleep again after waking from the dream she’d had. She had instead tried to recall all the bits and pieces and piece the puzzle together, but it was futile. She couldn’t remember everything, and what she briefly remembered did not make any sense. Lurky was a distraction from her own thoughts and lack of sleep.

“Murky wants ya downstairs,” he called, a large grin on his face.

“Fine.”

Lurky turned and returned to the laboratory. Stormy laid on the bed for a few moments more before getting up. She walked slowly down the stairs. “What?” she asked, none too kindly.

Murky ignored her tone of voice, more focused on his Color Belt and his plan of action. “We’re going to Rainbow Land. You’re coming too. I want you to see what happens to that Rainbow brat and her friends without the precious Color Belt. Lurky! Fetch the Grunge Buggy!”

“Right away!” Lurky saluted.

Murky grabbed a small sack and filled it with his grey star sprinkles. He tucked the sack inside of his vest before turning to Stormy. “You won’t be involved in this plan. You’re just going to watch what happens. Got it?”

Stormy nodded, not speaking a word. She crossed her arms and stared back at him.

Within moments, Lurky had returned to the laboratory. “We’re all set, Murky!”

“Good!” Murky rubbed his hands together. “Let’s get started.”

The three of them headed outside, where the Grunge Buggy rumbled and coughed. Lurky climbed into the driver’s side, while Stormy climbed into the sidecar, and Murky clung to the back frame.

“Get there quickly, lunkhead… I want to surprise Rainbow and her friends. They won’t know what hit them!”

Lurky sped off down the road that led to Rainbow Land as Murky’s cackling echoed off the walls of the Pits. Stormy merely rode in silence.
"If you're obsessed with your yesterday then you're destined to repeat it." - Ariel of Icon for Hire

Tom-sprite
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Re: Lost Storms

Post by Tom-sprite »

I always print your stories out ... they are all fabulous !!! :-)
When I finished reading I ll tell you some of my thoughts ! :-D

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Chibi Rachy
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Re: Lost Storms

Post by Chibi Rachy »

Tom-sprite wrote:I always print your stories out ... they are all fabulous !!! :-)
When I finished reading I ll tell you some of my thoughts ! :-D
Great, can't wait to hear feedback :)
"If you're obsessed with your yesterday then you're destined to repeat it." - Ariel of Icon for Hire

Tom-sprite
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Re: Lost Storms

Post by Tom-sprite »

@ Chibi :

I like how you describe that Stormy subconsciously starts to wonder about friendship.
Your pictorial style helps me as a reader to imagine the story as an absorbing cartoon !
I think you unwittingly overstate a little when it comes to detailedness
[Especially the descriptions of the environment in the various scenes are epic]
but I do not think this is bad ...
it s somehow consistent regarding this fan-fiction.
I can t wait to read more ... I ask myself what could happen when Murky attacks with the manipulated colour belt and how Stormy will be involved ...
Always a pleasure to read your fan-fictions ...

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Chibi Rachy
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Re: Lost Storms

Post by Chibi Rachy »

Tom-sprite wrote:@ Chibi :

I like how you describe that Stormy subconsciously starts to wonder about friendship.
Your pictorial style helps me as a reader to imagine the story as an absorbing cartoon !
I think you unwittingly overstate a little when it comes to detailedness
[Especially the descriptions of the environment in the various scenes are epic]
but I do not think this is bad ...
it s somehow consistent regarding this fan-fiction.
I can t wait to read more ... I ask myself what could happen when Murky attacks with the manipulated colour belt and how Stormy will be involved ...
Always a pleasure to read your fan-fictions ...
The part with Murky's plan shall be fun. And since you've been reading, I'll let you know that Stormy is heavily involved in his "big" plot after that and that's where my character torture of someone begins... ;) I'm known for doing it though, just not yet in this fandom.

I know I can provide more details at times, but I like for someone to really picture what is going on. :)
"If you're obsessed with your yesterday then you're destined to repeat it." - Ariel of Icon for Hire

Tom-sprite
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Re: Lost Storms

Post by Tom-sprite »

character-torture ...

I hope it won t turn out too cruel ! ;-)

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Re: Lost Storms

Post by Chibi Rachy »

Tom-sprite wrote:character-torture ...

I hope it won t turn out too cruel ! ;-)
It'll seem like it! I did all sorts of things to my main character in a Power Ranger fanfic, starting with paralyzing her. That was only the tip of the iceberg!

What I do will keep you on your toes!
"If you're obsessed with your yesterday then you're destined to repeat it." - Ariel of Icon for Hire

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